Fanny Pack

Laurenne, I need pictures of your glorious fanny. Pack.

This is a post regarding an excellent creation of mine. Over the past three weeks, I have been hard at work knitting a fanny pack out of recycled plastic bags brought home from England. I completed it on the train ride to Utah, and gave it to Laurenne amid jubilant, crazed yells of appreciation and adoration for my extreme knitting talent and creativity.

First, I had to make the yarn. I took a plastic grocery bag, and folded it twice so it was layered four times. Then I cut off the bottom seam and cut the bag into one inch strips until I reached the handles, which I threw away. After I had these strips, I looped them together and voila, I had plastic yarn.

My mom had to teach me how to knit. I know, it's embarrassing that I didn't know how to knit, but now I do. I practiced a bit on real yarn, then got to work on the bag, my work loosely based on a paper prototype I made. The knitting took a long time. As I finished the first couple sections, I hand-stitched them together using a needle I fashioned out of a plastic fork. I finished all the pieces and assembled the bag on the train, then, using a nail I found in the garage, I poked holes into the fabric around the zipper I found in my mom's sewing machine and attached it to the bag. Then I put some straps on the back, and put my homemade belt through the loops, and I was done!

Unfortunately I forgot to take pictures of the fanny pack before I gave it to Laurenne. She gave me a hat a year ago, so I figured I better pay her back. It's a nice hat, maybe I should put a picture of it on here.

I still can't really believe that I knitted a fanny pack. I'm not really sure how to think about it. Is it really, unbearably cool? Was it fun? Does it mean I'm a grandma? Will I do it again? Is this my career? Will this spark the biggest movement in fashion since leg warmers came back into style? These are questions I just can't answer right now.