The Saga of the Human Billboard and the Friendly Construction Workers

I'm in the midst of final exams. It's a time of the year I actually enjoy for its freedom of time management. For the most part, I can plan my day however I like. As long as my plan includes twelve hours of studying, that is. But it's nice anyway.

But I didn't start this blog to reminisce about the pleasantries of final exams, time to get down to business. There are two stories I would like to share with you today. The first consists of events which occurred two days ago while I walked back to my apartment from campus. I was approached by one of those advertisey people who hand you things you don't want. Mitch Hedberg says these people are implicitly saying to you, "Here, you throw this away." Sure enough, the guy who walked towards me, his face painted a menagerie of green and darker green, held out some coupons for a new kind of gum he was pushing. I was ready to keep walking, but he caught my attention by asking me if I wanted my face painted. I thought. Not particularly, I think is what I thought. But then he told me he would give me twenty dollars if he were allowed the pleasure of painting my face. I don't remember what happened after that, but I walked away with a face painted pink and a crisp twenty dollar bill in my hand. They also stuck a sticker on my forehead to complete my status as a human billboard. I went home and washed off the paint and put the sticker on my wall. I feel like I should have told them, I would have done a lot more for twenty dollars.

And now, on to the thrilling case of the friendly construction workers. So last night, I went to a running store and purchased a fancy new pair of running shoes so I can continue this battle between self-torture and rational thought I optimistically call determination. They had a foam roll in the corner. I was originally introduced to this training mechanism in London when I was part of the rugby team. You put the roll on the ground, then put a body part on it and roll back and forth. The theory is that you roll the knots out of your muscles or something like that, but I just know it feels really amazing. But the foam roll cost 25 dollars! Can you believe it? I decided not to buy one and instead search for a makeshift foam roller, like a piece of PVC pipe or something.

I went running this morning to test out my shoes and guess what I found? A big box of PVC pipes just laying on the sidewalk! They were with some other construction equipment, but I figured they were scraps. They were all slightly bent, but I thought I could at least find one which would roll well enough to work. I continued on my run, but stopped by the PVC cache on my way back to my apartment. There were some construction workers there this time, so I asked them if they were using the bent pieces of PVC pipe. They were, but they offered to cut me a straight piece of pipe from some longer sections nearby! It was a Christmas miracle! The guy who cut the piece for me asked me whether it was for a class project, and I told him it was for exercising. He said his doctor prescribed him the same thing to get rid of his "Planter fa-see-see." He also helpfully suggested they make good bongs. Just goes to show you, construction workers have a lot to offer the world.